1. In the delivery room

    tokomon:

    mother: is it a boy or a girl?

    doctor: *puts baby between teeth* it’s a metaphor

    (via condom)

  2. deepthroatmom:

    holycheesenrice:

    andrejpejicjimmyvegafanfic:

    *pounds on ur windshield as u hide inside ur car with doors locked*

    seriously? are you kidding me? 

    That is a CHILD. Have some fucking decency.

    *pops your tires w/ my strong front teeth and goes for the kill*

    (via 420dongsquad)

  3. aye-trashley:

    out of all the words they could graffiti this is what they chose

    (via joshpeckofficiall)

  4. bewbin:

    mlssfortune:

    where the fuck did i put my ocarina

    It’s ok you’ll find it in time

    (via bewbin)

  5. officialfrenchtoast:

    *holds your hand* ha ha how’d that get there

    (via condom)

  6. "Go Outside and Play" by Kevin Van Aelst

    (via hitchhikerwithoutguide)

  7. (Source: kittyit, via robdelaney)

  8. (Source: cartoonpolitics, via sixpenceee)